Are you looking for Adam Sandler quotes? Discover the comedic genius of Adam Sandler through our best collections of hilarious Adam Sandler quotes. From his iconic movie one-liners to his witty stand-up humor, these quotes the irreverent and playful spirit of this beloved comedian. Dive into the world of Adam Sandler’s humor and relive his funniest moments with our collection of quotes, perfect for fans and comedy enthusiasts.
Sometimes I Feel Like An Idiot, But I Am An Idiot So It Kind of Works Out.
Chemistry can be a good and bad thing.
Gay guys know how to dance well. It’s like the law or some s**t.
It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys
I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble
Adam Sandler Quotes
I Am The Smartest Man Alive!
Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God! Cherish it!
I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That’s a lot of coloring when you think about it.
Well, ‘Sorry’ Doesn’t Put The Triscuit Crackers In My Stomach, Now Does It, Carl?
My father wasn’t perfect. He had a temper. I took some of that. He would snap, but the older he got, he started calming down. He learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.
I got into this tournament for one reason: money. And now I have a new reason: kicking your a**!
I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only….Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks
My name is Adam Sandler. I’m not particularly talented. I’m not particularly good-looking. And yet I’m a multi-millionaire.
Chlorophyll? More Like Borophyll
Sometimes you can’t prioritize family and you feel guilty.
Mama says that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you’re feeling blue.
I don’t know anything about plants except that you make cakes out of them!
Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.
Don’t Tell Me My Business, Devil Woman!
It’s nice when little teams win.
You’d better not kill me, man, I’ve got s**t to do tomorrow!
I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out
My father learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.
You Ain’t Cool Unless You Pee Your Pants!
The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.
I can’t run a company… I can’t even run my own life!
I’m 31 now. I think I’m beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.
What Does A Horseshoe Do? Are There Any Horse Socks? Is Anybody Listening To Me?
I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But in school, I certainly wasn’t the best at that
Haven’t you heard? Goofy is the new handsome.
I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.
You’ve just got to give yourself time – that’s good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not good at
Worrying about your kids is sanity, and being that sane… can drive you nuts.
If Peeing In Your Pants Is Cool, Consider Me Miles Davis
I’m not comfortable being around too many people. I don’t like being out in public too much. I don’t like going to bars. I don’t like doing celebrity stuff. So, most of the characters I play are people who don’t always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.
What? I didn’t break it, I was just testing its durability, and then I placed it in the woods because it’s made of wood and I just thought he should be with his family.
Everything I do, is not going right, and I don’t know what to do.
When I Graduated First Grade, All My Father Did Was Tell Me To Get A Job.
I think when I bought a house, that’s when I thought I felt like that’s a grown-up thing to do.
You don’t have to lie, just tell her to ignore me when I’m lying.
My kids don’t have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they’re $4 million in the hole.
Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. well, luck, I guess. So what?
Hey Kids, It’s Me! I Bet You Thought That I Was Dead! But When I Fell Over I Just Broke My Leg And Got A Hemorrhage In My Head!
Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more seriously and I do want that lifestyle.
The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep and wake up thinking about it. With the amount of money I have, it’s difficult raising children the way I was raised.
Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest.
I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.
Stay Here. Stay As Long As You Can!
I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.
I never know what’s coming next. I definitely yell at people in my life going, ‘What the f**k am I doing next?!,’ a lot. But I don’t really ever know what’s happening.
I know I want to always do the best I can.
I’ll Turn This D*** Bus Around!
One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.
A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I’ve always worked hard.
Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.
It’s important I surround myself with people who make me happy.
Meg Ryan, Or Jack Nicholson?
I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.
When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.
I drew the duck blue because I’ve never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
You’ve just got to give yourself time – that’s good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.
Now, Now. Maybe It’s Somebody Else.
I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.
I think I’m playing grown-up because I have kids now. But I don’t feel grown up yet.
I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
If You’re Gonna Stay Home Today, You Can Help Me Shave My Armpits.
…Some of their mothers yell at me, tell me I have corrupted their children and influenced them to pee on walls. So I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hugged me for
Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.
I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, what are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?
When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I’m so happy I did a nice thing.
May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.
I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it’s just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.
I still get very scared when I see a live audience.
You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.
I’m not comfortable being around too many people. I don’t like being out in public too much. I don’t like going to bars. I don’t like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don’t always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.
Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make a crack with it.
As a kid, I’d go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I’d be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.
Well I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.
I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I’m glad I lived out both roles.
Well, I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, and put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.
In high school, I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.
I sang a song at my sister’s wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.
I do love the films I’ve done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we’re trying to make people laugh and I’m very proud of that.
I’ve always just had trouble with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.
I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.
I grew up in a house that liked to be funny. Everybody liked to be funny. My family’s been, we’ve been enjoying each other’s comedy for years.
I’ve been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And often when I’m driving, I hear I’m a moron. I like being a moron.
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
I’ll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies.
I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.
My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.
My buddies, we’ve always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out – that’s the goal.
The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.
As a kid, I’d go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I’d be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.
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